It was distracting
by scoobz87
Summary: After the events of Mai HiME. Shiznat are hanging out at Natsuki's place.
1. Chapter 1

After lurking around for some time, I thought I'd try my hand at a fanficion. Please read and review! Thanks :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.

It was distracting. Really. We were hanging out as usual at my apartment and she was sitting with her legs curled up on the couch on with only an oversized t-shirt on, leaving little left to the imagination. A thriller with lots of bloody scenes was on, my kind of show, but most times I found my eyes wandering the length of those smooth creamy legs. My fingers itched to touch, to run my fingers lightly up those milk white thighs. I wonder if she's ticklish… Unbidden thoughts of her squirming beneath my touch suddenly flashed through my mind. No! No! Bad thoughts! Quickly I shook them away, feeling a hot blush creep up my face. Since when did I become such a pervert? I thought, annoyed by my thoughts.

"Ara ara. I wonder what my Natsuki is thinking to bring such a cute blush to her face."

_Caught._

"Nn..nothing!!" I stammered out.

"Is that so?"

"Or perhaps Natsuki was thinking of trying that with me?" Shizuru asked huskily with a seductive smile, gesturing towards the television.

_Try what?_

Confused, I glanced at it only to turn away immediately, blushing an even deeper shade of red. A couple was making out onscreen, hands groping each other in, well, _places_. I blushed even deeper. "Shizuru!!"

"Mou. Does Natsuki find me unattractive then?" A pout.

"No!! I didn't mean it like that!"

Comparing herself to the heroine in the movie, Shizuru said sadly "Well, I guess mine aren't that huge."

My eyes followed as her hands moved to cup her breasts.

"Neither are my lips as luscious as hers." Fingers lightly brushed against moistened lips.

"And legs not as long and smooth…" Shizuru's voice trailed off, a hand slowly tracing a path up her legs.

Higher.

And higher.

"Oh God, if she goes any higher I'd be able to see…." My eyes widened, suddenly realizing what I had been doing. I looked away immediately feeling my whole face on fire.

"Na..tsu..ki."

I braced myself and looked up, expecting more teasing about my behavior. I was however surprised to see Shizuru watching me with a serious expression, her eyes unreadable. The usual smile was gone, replaced by an almost hungry look. But that couldn't be right.

We just ate didn't we?

"Shi..zuru?"

Suddenly there was a warm pressure on my lips. The sensation was... oddly pleasing. I leaned in unconsciously, wanting more. The kiss deepened, a hand found its way to my face, the other lightly caressing the skin under my shirt. My skin was burning, my mind whirling. All I could think of was how good it felt, how right it felt.

Then just as suddenly as it had started, it was gone.

Troubled crimson eyes met my own confused ones. "Kanin na Natsuki! Kanin na! I didn't mean to do that."

"I… I'd better go now. I understand if you…" her voice cracking.

Swallowing she continued "If you don't want to see me again, Natsuki." she said dejectedly.

I stared at her mutely as she fought to hold in the tears that I knew threatened to fall. I could see how much it broke her to say that. Memories during the carnival came rushing back. Shizuru's hurt look when I had rejected her, her tears, her empty hollow expression. Even when she rescued me from Nao, it was as if she was on auto pilot, an empty vessel with a missing soul, out to destroy everything that made me unhappy. The pain I saw in her eyes as we fought and the possessive yet tender way she had held me after trapping me in the church all flashed in front of my eyes in slow motion. I wanted desperately to hold her, to tell her that it was alright, that I...

That I _lo_...cared for her too.

But that would be even more cruel, wouldn't it? Especially when I know it might be more.

_Shizuru..._

Shizuru smiled sadly at me.

To me, it seemed more like a grimace.

Taking my silence to mean the worst, she said quietly with her head bowed "I understand. Goodbye Natsuki."

_One final goodbye_

With those words, she left. And somewhere deep within me, I knew that if I didn't go after her now, she was never coming back.

_Shizuru..._

Nothing that felt so right could be wrong. Could it?

Then why?

Why couldn't I go after her?

xxx

omake 1:

Natsuki: Oi! Shizuru wait! What did you do to my legs you stupid author? -glares-

Scoobz: It wasn't me! -shivers in fear-

Natsuki: I don't care! Find a way to cure it now! or else...

-Shizuru walks in with a bottle of scented oil-

Shizuru: Ara ara... Let me massage it for you Na-tsu-ki. -stares pointedly at author-

Natsuki: -blushes- Shi-zuru!!

-Scoobz hurries out of room as images of the two covered in oil signaled the start of a nosebleed-


	2. Chapter 2

A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed :)

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

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Shizuru. My most precious one. Always with that special smile reserved only for me. You were always there. 

Even though I kept pushing you away, unwilling to let you pass the walls I built around me.

You persisted.

Slowly, you crept into my life and my walls began to crumble, gradually letting you in. I began to get used to your presence, came to expect it, and at some point, began to look forward to seeing you. And you never disappointed me Shizuru. During the few times that I actually attended class, you never failed to find me and elicit that damned blush from my face, never failed to escape those crazy fangirls of yours, talk me into lunch and somehow produce an extra bento with those heavenly mayo filled fishballs. I now wonder if you had always made an extra, keeping out a watchful eye for me every single day. Secluded in that garden full of flowers, we'd sit, content with each others' company. A place now filled with so many fond memories, the place where I first met you.

That night when Nao was about to dig my eyes out, I was prepared to die. I couldn't care less. Everything I had been fighting for, everything I had stood against, it was all a lie. I could no longer see any reason to live. But when you suddenly appeared I was terrified. Terrified of what she might do to you. I didn't know you were a HiME then.

If I had known, I probably would've have worried more about what you would do to Nao.

You stepped in, saved my life. I was grateful to some extend, but a part of me wished I had just died there. I had lost everything. Even Duran, my faithful child wouldn't come when I called.

And in a way, I had lost you.

The image of the best friend I had known all this while was shattered. I felt utterly lost and betrayed. I wasn't ready to accept your feelings, wasn't ready to love. It was all so foreign to me. I couldn't understand this complicated feeling called love that drove people to do the insane things they normally would not. Shy and timid Yukino, Mikoto, you...

When Nao had said that part about trusting only yourself, something clicked inside me, suddenly realizing that you were the one who helped me see the world again, you who showed me someone cared.

You, who were always there.

_It was always you._

Shizuru…

That's when I knew, I'd do anything to protect you too. To make sure that you were safe from harm, safe from me, safe from yourself, from what you had become because of me. I didn't know it then, or maybe I just didn't want to know, but I was probably falling for you too. All the love, care and concern you showed me subconsciously seeped through my defenses. Duran's size was a strong testament of how strongly I felt for you. And I felt vulnerable. I had never trusted anyone since my mother's death, never needed anyone. But you Shizuru, you made me smile, made me feel special, feel loved. Yes, loved. I now know the word. And like I told you before we faded into oblivion, I'm glad you loved me.

And I..

I…

I think I might love you too Shizuru…

And if it's for you, I'm willing to try, willing to take a chance.

Life without you is definitely something I can't imagine. The thought of going through each day without your smiles, your teasing, your little touches, and just feeling your presence close-by fills me with a sense of dread and emptiness. I need you in my life, that's for sure.

There was so much passion in that kiss, so much repressed desire.

Even now, the taste of you still lingers.

My skin still tingles...

It was so much more than anything we ever shared- not that we kissed that much. In fact the only one I remember was the one I gave you during the carnival and that had been innocent, clumsy even. Just a simple press of my lips on yours. But it was enough to pull you out of that pit of desolation.

The pit I never want to see you drown in again.

Therefore….

"Shizuru! Chotto matte!" I yelled running after her. "Shizuru!!"

"Damn it!" I cursed as her red sports' car sped by me. Jumping on my Ducati, I revved up the engine and raced off after her, features grim with determination. I will not lose you so easily Shizuru. Not when I'm finally sorting out my feelings for you.

_Wait for me, Shizuru..._

_Won't you please..._

_...wait._

xxx

Omake 2:

Natsuki: Say, Shizuru. Could I take that baby for a spin? -stares longingly at Shizuru's sports' car-

Shizuru: Ara... I thought you'd never ask. -pounces- You can take me for a spin anytime Na-tsuki.

Natsuki: Wh..what? -blushes- B..baka!! I meant the car!

Shizuru: -whispers seductively while licking Natsuki's ear- Or how about you take me for a ride in that car?

Natsuki: Mhmm... -distractedly rubs Shizuru back- O..okay...

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Please do click on the button below and review! Thanks! 


	3. Chapter 3

Hello all! Sorry for the really really late update. Things have been pretty hectic- assignments, final exams, and right now, during what's supposed to be my semester holidays, my internship job. And boy, are the hours long. Imagine spending almost 10 hours at work each day! Personal free time is almost zero T.T

Anyway, enough of my rants. Onward to the story!

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

_Shizuru you idiot! Why?? Why did you have to go and kiss her?_ Shizuru mentally berated herself. Her car swerved slightly as she flinched at the memory. 

_Natsuki…._

_Yet again, I've broken your trust. And there's no Obsidian lord to blame it on this time. There's only me. _

_Me and my unnatural love for you. _

_I kept telling myself that I'd content myself with staying best friends. That it was enough. Yet all along, I knew. I already knew it'd never be enough. Every moment spent with you made me want you more and more._

_It was all just right. Everything was as it was before the Carnival. Better in fact. We were more open with each other. There were no longer any secrets between us. And knowing my reservations in touching you in case it made you uncomfortable, you even took the liberty of initiating touch with me- taking my hand as we walked, and giving me that strong yet soothing hug that never failed to warm my lonely heart each time we parted. All those caring, thoughtful gestures only served to make me love you more. _

_It was weeks later when I first noticed you looking at me more than usual- always when you thought I wasn't looking. Those stolen glances gave me hope. _

_Perhaps…_

_Perhaps the reality of you and I wasn't so impossible after all._

_But I guess I was wrong. _

_And I guess this is goodbye Natsuki. _

_For good._

The tears she held back for so long started streaming down her face.

_I'm so sorry Natsuki. I'm so sorry…_

A fist banging frantically on her window startled her out of her thoughts.

_Wh...?_

Their eyes met.

_Na-tsuki…? _

She blinked disbelievingly

_No, it couldn't- But it was... _

Her foot left the gas pedal.

_It was Natsuki!_

All of a sudden, bright headlights and a loud resounding horn. Breaking off their gaze, Shizuru could only stare in horror as a large oncoming truck sped towards Natsuki.

Then a loud thud and a sickening crash.

The sound of screeching tires as feet slammed on the brakes.

Pattering feet as she ran towards Natsuki's wrecked bike, eyes darting wildly about, desperately searching.

Choked sobs.

And finally, an anguished "NATSUKI...!!"

xxx

She didn't know how long she knelt there, letting the tears flow. How could she continue living without Natsuki? Continue living with the knowledge that she caused her death? If only she hadn't kissed her, if only she had more self-control, Natsuki would've still been alive.

She took a shaky step towards the cliff.

___It's all my fault._

Another. 

_I killed Natsuki._

And another.

_I don't deserve to live..._

Now at the edge, she closed her eyes.

_Natsuki..._

Those crimson eyes were eerily calm when they re-opened.

She had made her decision.

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The end. 

I'm serious.

Lol... Okay, I'm kidding!

A huge thank you to everyone who has thus far reviewed :D Reviews are like food to the author's soul.

So more reviews please?


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